Tag Archives: millennials

All Messed Up

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Just got home from a brief convo with a few friends. I feel like we’re doomed. I know, I should be optimistic but how we think about love, dating, sex, it’s all messed up. Biblically speaking, it’s all wrong. First of all, we can’t love, truly love, selfless love, unconditional love because we don’t know God. How can we love or know love if we don’t know the creator and giver of love. God is love. What we think is love is something else and it pulls us in all kinds of wrong directions. Giving oneself away physically does not mean love.

Many of us are slaves to sex sin and don’t even know it. Slaves meaning it controls us, our relationships, life. We may think it’s normal because everyone says it is. If no one else has told you, let me, it’s not normal. Actually, it may be the societal norm but it shouldn’t be our norm. It complicates thing in present relationships and future ones. Sex before marriage will never satisfy. Why? Because it isn’t the order God intended it to be and it isn’t true intimacy. One can only experience true intimacy after marriage, the way God intended it to be (Hebrews 13:4). You can’t connect with someone physically if you haven’t connected with him/her spiritually, mentally, emotionally, socially. As a Christian, if you haven’t entered into the covenant of marriage, there will always be some level of inhibition, lack of openness, comfort or trust.

If I can just keep it real, I didn’t want to post this. I wrote this weeks months and months ago. I feel it’s one of those topics that most people feel, act, validate based on their lifestyle and social norms. Girls Ladies, it doesn’t make you a stronger woman, more free and comfortable with whom you are because you have more partners. And boys men, talking about how many girls you’ve been with doesn’t make you more manly. Who is man enough, strong enough, bold enough to change that narrative? Some things (i.e. abstaining) may never be the cool thing to do, but are you cool enough to make it cool to talk about how many girls you’ve abstained from in your circle of friends?

As a Christian, any man or woman who isn’t willing to wait until marriage isn’t ready for marriage. There’s a selflessness, obedience and honor to God that should come first. For the ladies and the men, let me say, you are worth the wait and for anyone who says or acts differently #deuces.

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed (John 8:34-36)

If you are a Christ believer, you are no longer slave to sin. You are a son of the family of Christ, of light, righteousness, life. You are free. You have a right to be free. Free to overcome EVERYTHING you believe you cannot overcome. Everything you’ve given up on overcoming. Who is ruling? You can overcome whatever it is, depend on God to do it in and through you.

I know this is a topic that may make us uncomfortable. It doesn’t fit our lifestyles anymore so we tend to find ways around it. We start calling the Bible outdated, irrelevant, etc to justify or validate our sin as ok. If you’re a Christian, let’s acknowledge God’s truth in all things instead of disputing it because it’s difficult to accept or convicts us to the core.

I know some of you are reading this like, oh well I’m satisfied with where I am and what you believe or what you have might be good, but it’s not for everyone. Remember Christ. Jesus paid the price on the cross for us. For you and your intimacy, that you may know true love. He made a covenant with God just for you so you could be free.

❤ Carin

 

10 Dating Rules for 2016

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Hey y’all! I just wrote a post on our Xconvo discussion about the dating game in 2016… such a fun discussion! You can imagine how lively it got 🙂 What are your expectations, deal breakers, social media, who should pay on the date, etc. We’re dropping the full video next week Thursday 2.25.16, but check out our vlog on the rules we came up with in the meantime!

(If you don’t know about Xconvos, you’re missing out! It’s a web-based series of real discussions on various social topics from a black Millennial perspective. We are changing the conversation through these solution focused discussions. I think you’ll enjoy them, check em out!)

Now, for le dating game.. here are the first five rules we came up with:
 
1.    Self evaluate: know yourself, know your worth. Are you secure in who you are? Know your expectations, needs and limits in a relationship and from your significant other. We all want a perfect relationship, but perfect is relative. Everything you expect in your significant other should also be attributes you have.

2.    Come complete, she/he will not complete you. A husband/wife will complete you, but also won’t complete you. Understand that you have value as an individual. Don’t enter a relationship to fill a void or just because you’re lonely. Dating is much deeper than that. Yes, you may temporarily feel love and companionship, but if you’re in a relationship and looking for every bit of your happiness and fulfillment in the other person, you may lose it quicker than you found it.

3.    Do your stalking due diligence. Social media is your best friend… sometimes lol (Check out the Xconvos dropping later this week for a different perspective on this!)

4.    Whoever initiates the date, expect to pay. Yep, ladies too. If you ask a guy out on a date, you should expect to pay. Not saying that you will pay, but you should go with the expectation of paying. “It’s 2016, ladies gotta step up.” I’m hearing this a lot these days. Question for y’all, should ladies be asking men out on dates? I’m not a fan haha, but maybe I’m a bit more traditional in a few ways. Ladies, am I wrong? If you have asked a man out before, how’d it go?

5.    Don’t waste time! Pretty self-explanatory. Ain’t nobody got time for games. #dontwastehistime #dontwastehertime

Go read the rest of the rules on the Alibi X blog, The Digital Conscious! I think number 10 is my favorite. Let me know what you think! Anything you would add?

Hope you enjoy 🙂

❤

The One New Year Resolution Everyone Should Make

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We are fourteen days into the new year! People always joke that most people don’t make it through January without breaking their resolutions. I was thinking about this and thought of one resolution that would make it easier on us, and one that I believe will help us accomplish every goal we’ve set for ourselves. If you have only one resolution or commitment this year, make it to be closer to God. This means to spend intentional time with God daily in prayer and in His word and to seek him in everything. Honestly, if we’re doing this, everything else that we want to happen, will happen. It may not look how we want it to look or happen when we want it to happen, but if God is leading, we’ll be at peace. He will give us strength, discipline, self control and everything else we need to do that which is set before us. God wants to do life with us! 

If you wrote a list of resolutions for this year, did you seek God about them? If you didn’t write a list, take a minute to think about some thing(s) you want to give up or things you want to start doing differently or just something new in general. It takes forty days to form a habit. The Israelites were in the wilderness for forty years. Moses was with God forty days and forty nights on Mount Sinai. After fasting forty days and nights, Jesus was tempted in the wilderness. What’s the theme here? Do you ever notice recurring themes in your life? Understand what is required of you to see it change.

And he was there with the LORD forty days and forty nights; he did neither eat bread, nor drink water. And he wrote upon the tables the words of the covenant, the ten commandments. Exodus 34:28

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. Now when the tempter came to Him… But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’” Matthew 4:1-3

And the LORD’S anger was kindled against Israel, and he made them wander in the wilderness forty years, until all the generation, that had done evil in the sight of the LORD, was consumed. Numbers 32:13

These are amazing examples for us. There’s something about the “wilderness” (i.e. a barrenness in your life), God’s word, prayer and fasting. God’s word needs to be put into action. Maybe fasting is something else you want to try this year. Giving up something to focus your attention on prayer… maybe it’s food or drink (check out the Daniel Fast, Daniel 1:10, 10:2-3), sexual intimacy (for the unmarried folks), social media or something else you desire greatly. Make a sacrifice and commit that time to God to really seek him and see how your life will change.

The easiest way to “success” is to seek God. Put and keep God first and He will take care of everything else for you. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things (see vs 25-31) shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33.

Two weeks in, to a year of growth and blessings, happy new year y’all!

❤ Carin

God’s Promise To His Chosen Servant

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God is with you. Isaiah 49 is a chapter full of depth about God’s promises to His chosen servant. We are living in crazy times, so crazy that sometimes I wonder if these are the end times… just me? In the midst of all the craziness, all we can do is stand on God’s promises to us. It can be easy to lose hope or just feel like what you’re working towards is pointless, but when we realize what God has promised us, we’ll be able to stay focused and walk in an unspeakable joy that no one and no circumstance can take from us.

In a time of favor, I have answered you in a day of salvation I have helped you. Those who wait for me shall not be put to shame. For I will contend with him who contends with you, And I will save your children. I will feed those who oppress you with their own flesh. These are just a few of the promises from Isaiah 41 and 49 that stood out to me. Here are some of the scriptures in full, keep them as reminders for yourselves!

I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:11

Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. Isaiah 41:12

For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob, little Israel, do not fear, for I myself will help you,” declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. Isaiah 41:13-14

This is what the Lord says: “In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you; I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people, to restore the land and to reassign its desolate inheritances, 9 to say to the captives, ‘Come out,’ and to those in darkness, ‘Be free!’” Isaiah 49:8-9

Kings shall be your foster fathers, And their queens your nursing mothers; They shall bow down to you with their faces to the earth, And lick up the dust of your feet. Then you will know that I am the Lord, For they shall not be ashamed who wait for Me.” Isaiah 49:23

But thus says the Lord: “Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, And the prey of the terrible be delivered; For I will contend with him who contends with you, And I will save your children.” Isaiah 49:25

Do not fear, do not be afraid, I will keep you, I will help you. How awesome are these promises? Psalm 34:19 says, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.” For God to be known, he uses His people and works through them. The Bible never says that we won’t go through anything. It says that our afflictions will give us a reason to praise and glorify God because of the victory we receive.

Happy Monday. Keep going. Stand on God’s promises this week. His word will give you strength.

With love,

Carin

“What God Is Calling You To Do Doesn’t Exist Yet”

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That’s a quote from a sermon I heard last year. Promising right? There’s something here in life that only you can do. You’re special. So live like you are.
Be salty. I love this scripture, Matthew 5:13-16 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”Don’t do the ordinary, do the extraordinary. Don’t be average, be above average. Don’t live how everyone else is living, live differently. Romans 12:2 says “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Don’t want what everyone else wants, want better. If you are walking with the Holy Spirit, your desires should be those that come from the Holy Spirit. ‘Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.’ (Romans 8:5, check out Galatians 5:16-17 too)
You are called to be set apart. ‘Thus you are to be holy to Me, for I the LORD am holy; and I have set you apart from the peoples to be Mine.’ (Leviticus 20:26)
Be bold. Only God will give you the direction, the wisdom (James 1:5) and strength you need. ‘A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.’ (Proverbs 16:9)
How are you walking, in His will or your own? You’ll only be as great as you think you are or can be if you follow yourself. Follow God and he’ll make you greater, more successful and everything else than you would ever dream of.
Keep going, keep pushing, keep praying, keep praising!!
Love y’all,
Rinny