Tag Archives: Loneliness

All Messed Up

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Just got home from a brief convo with a few friends. I feel like we’re doomed. I know, I should be optimistic but how we think about love, dating, sex, it’s all messed up. Biblically speaking, it’s all wrong. First of all, we can’t love, truly love, selfless love, unconditional love because we don’t know God. How can we love or know love if we don’t know the creator and giver of love. God is love. What we think is love is something else and it pulls us in all kinds of wrong directions. Giving oneself away physically does not mean love.

Many of us are slaves to sex sin and don’t even know it. Slaves meaning it controls us, our relationships, life. We may think it’s normal because everyone says it is. If no one else has told you, let me, it’s not normal. Actually, it may be the societal norm but it shouldn’t be our norm. It complicates thing in present relationships and future ones. Sex before marriage will never satisfy. Why? Because it isn’t the order God intended it to be and it isn’t true intimacy. One can only experience true intimacy after marriage, the way God intended it to be (Hebrews 13:4). You can’t connect with someone physically if you haven’t connected with him/her spiritually, mentally, emotionally, socially. As a Christian, if you haven’t entered into the covenant of marriage, there will always be some level of inhibition, lack of openness, comfort or trust.

If I can just keep it real, I didn’t want to post this. I wrote this weeks months and months ago. I feel it’s one of those topics that most people feel, act, validate based on their lifestyle and social norms. Girls Ladies, it doesn’t make you a stronger woman, more free and comfortable with whom you are because you have more partners. And boys men, talking about how many girls you’ve been with doesn’t make you more manly. Who is man enough, strong enough, bold enough to change that narrative? Some things (i.e. abstaining) may never be the cool thing to do, but are you cool enough to make it cool to talk about how many girls you’ve abstained from in your circle of friends?

As a Christian, any man or woman who isn’t willing to wait until marriage isn’t ready for marriage. There’s a selflessness, obedience and honor to God that should come first. For the ladies and the men, let me say, you are worth the wait and for anyone who says or acts differently #deuces.

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed (John 8:34-36)

If you are a Christ believer, you are no longer slave to sin. You are a son of the family of Christ, of light, righteousness, life. You are free. You have a right to be free. Free to overcome EVERYTHING you believe you cannot overcome. Everything you’ve given up on overcoming. Who is ruling? You can overcome whatever it is, depend on God to do it in and through you.

I know this is a topic that may make us uncomfortable. It doesn’t fit our lifestyles anymore so we tend to find ways around it. We start calling the Bible outdated, irrelevant, etc to justify or validate our sin as ok. If you’re a Christian, let’s acknowledge God’s truth in all things instead of disputing it because it’s difficult to accept or convicts us to the core.

I know some of you are reading this like, oh well I’m satisfied with where I am and what you believe or what you have might be good, but it’s not for everyone. Remember Christ. Jesus paid the price on the cross for us. For you and your intimacy, that you may know true love. He made a covenant with God just for you so you could be free.

❤ Carin

 

God, Remember Me? 

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God doesn’t forget you. How many of y’all have been there, feeling distant, lost, hopeless? Where are/were you in my struggle, pain, hurt, heartbreak, God, remember me? I believe we often times pray this out of desperation because, the truth is, God has never forgotten you and never will. God is always present even when we don’t ask (or want Him to be lol). It’s never God forgetting us. It’s us not seeing where He is working in our lives or even allowing Him to be present and work in our lives. It’s a matter of us never letting go of Him.

This morning I asked myself what would it take for me to go to sleep every night knowing that I lived my day to the fullest, knowing that I walked every step as God wanted me to, went as He lead, spoke to those He wanted me to speak to, kept my attitude in check, went right and not left even when I didn’t want to. Honestly, I’m not really sure, but I know I can start by scripture and keeping my mind/thoughts on God. Every morning I’ll give my day to God, ask Him to take it over. This is the only way I see me walking in His will daily. If I do that, then I’m sure I’ll accomplish all that He desires of me. I won’t have to worry about a to do list, burdening myself with things I shouldn’t be focused on. There’s a reason there are only 24 hours in a day. (I’m not saying don’t have a to do list, I just mean be flexible as God leads.)

Psalm 139 and Jeremiah 1:5 both talk about how God knew us before we were even formed in the womb. If God took time to know us then, don’t you think he still knows us?  “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:7) This scripture is an example of how God cares about the littlest to the biggest things in life. If we do our part and walk in faith, I believe we’ll see how and where God is working in our lives and we’ll find ourselves saying, “God, remember me?” far less. The finished work is God’s job and God always does His part.

Instead of God, remember me? Let our prayer be God, help me not to forget you. He’ll use us in magnificent ways.

Love y’all!

Carin

When Will You be Done Living a Simple Life?

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You are running away from peace, love, happiness and don’t even know it. You may think you are doing what brings you happiness, but, it feels like you’re in a constant state of confusion. You are digging deeper in the things you are trying to run away from: loneliness, emptiness, unforgiveness, the desire to be loved, the list goes on. The relationship or job promotion, the drugs, sex, alcohol, shopping or whatever it might be loses it’s appeal after so long and you’re back at step one, you feel empty and you are pursuing that love, the success, your purpose, only to find these things no where. That’s because they can only be found in one place, with God. If you are saved by grace and know God, the ways of the world shouldn’t be your ways (Romans 12:2, 1 John 2:15-17). If they are, you will forever be running. So, when will you be done living a simple life?

A simple life is not living by God’s word. It is simple to say yes to the flesh, to your desires. It is simple to say that the Bible is outdated and to pick and choose what you want to believe because society is “evolving”. A simple life is being like everyone else around you, doing what everyone else is doing, accepting what everyone else is telling you to accept. It is simple to live how you want to live. It is not simple to live by God’s grace. But, why, shouldn’t it be? If you believe and walk by faith, then why is it so hard to live by His word? We make it tough on our own because we do not walk in the fullness of the Lord (Ephesians 3:14-19).

It’s not that God doesn’t want you to be happy or to have fun. It’s that the more we sin, the further we go from God. The further we are from God, the further we are from being where He wants us to be, doing what He wants us to do. There is no peace in that. You will forever be empty and looking for something more because true happiness, true joy and purpose only comes when you are wholeheartedly serving Christ and letting Him lead you.

My reality isn’t your reality and your reality isn’t mine. Yes, there are biblical truths that none of us can deny, but when it comes to living, each of our journeys are unique to us and that is between God and you. You just have to keep it real.

I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth (John 17:14-17).

Are you willing to stand apart, to go through the trials, to be bold, to be different? I don’t mean different like the world defines different, but different because God is calling you to stand apart and go somewhere only you can go if you let Him lead you and take you there… Through the fiery furnace like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, through the wilderness to the promised land like Moses, through trials and prisons like Paul. Are you ready to live more than a simple life?

With love,

Rinny

Lonely On Valentine’s Day? This Is For You!

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Heyy y’all!

Happy Valentine’s Day 🙂 I just wrote a post about loneliness on my church’s Strictly Young People (youth ministry) blog.

Here’s a snippet of the post:

If you’re not smiling today because you think Valentine’s Day is just another day to remind you of your loneliness, I hope that this blog puts a smile on your face. And for everyone who feels “ugh not another Valentine’s Day to remind me how single I am,” this is especially for you… you are not alone!

You’re probably like, well yeah I am. I don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend. My friends are all going out on dates… I’m sitting at home alone. I live in this hugee city with millions of people and so much to do, but I still feel empty. There is no one for me. I am lonely.

Firstly, let me say that loneliness is biblical. It is a desire to be with someone because that’s the way God created us…

Finish reading it here: Lonely on Valentine’s Day? This is for you!

Be blessed and have a great day y’all!

P.S. Last year I wrote about what I think is The Best Kept Relationship Secret. Check it out!

You Are Wanted

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I don’t mean wanted by your bf or gf, significant other, mom, dad, sister, brother, friends, co-workers, the people we usually seeek validation from…I mean wanted by someone faaar greater than any of these people, God.

He is looking for you, calling you, waiting on you. Ever hear a word that just touches you? That wasn’t a coincidence, it was God talking to you.

In your loneliness, Jesus is your companion, in your trials, He is your comfort, in your depression, He is your hope, in your confusion, your clarity. Everything you need is in Him. Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
If you’re longing for someone, for love, for peace of mind, if you feel empty, don’t turn to people or to things of the world to cope. Go to the one who wants you the most, who loves you the most, who hurts because you hurt. He’ll pick you up and place you on solid ground if you just trust in Him. Psalm 40:2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
What’s kept me all these years has been my dependence on Christ. Even before I completely surrendered everything (i.e. career, relationships, etc) to him he was calling me, wanting me to acknowledge him in everything, loving me the whole way 🙂 Lucky me, right? It’s the same for you!
May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Ephesians 3:19.
God loves us all the same, and way more than anyone else can ever love you. Through the sins and mistakes, he’s still pursuing you. Just run to him.
With love,
Rinny

Late Night Thinking…

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Group think! Why do groups of young girls, teens, young ladies, grown women tend to choose someone to dislike, bring down, shoot down together?  I’m not sure I’ll ever fully understand…

This is so random but it was on my mind as I was getting ready for bed some time ago. I mentor a middle school girl who is smart, at the top of her class, well spoken, athletic, hard worker…etc. She’s focused and has set goals, her passions are so clear, its admirable. The stories she’s told me always shock me…girls want to fight her.

My advice to her: When you stand for something, are confident, won’t compromise your values or who you are for others, people feel threatened, annoyed, they want you to conform. You exhibit what they wish they had in them.

Speaking from experience, I’ve seen girls act crazy on other girls for no reason. None. And it never ceases to shock me. And I know people will say, “Well it’s not them, it’s her…why do people always have a problem with her?” Wrong. Look at the people saying that, usually they are intimidated, immature, feel inferior, want attention…one and/or all of the above.

Just remember,  everything happens for a reason. God put em in your life for a season and took em out for a reason. I’ve got a few stories of my own. Teaches you character, lessons learned, wisdom and knowledge gained. Don’t cling to things that aren’t meant to be. You won’t miss that “friendship” one bit.

If you walk with God, who can be against you? Romans 8:31 (I love Romans 8:28-31!) I think this goes for guys/men too even though its not always as blatant.

Y’all know I love open discussions soo share your thoughts 🙂