Tag Archives: church

All Messed Up

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Just got home from a brief convo with a few friends. I feel like we’re doomed. I know, I should be optimistic but how we think about love, dating, sex, it’s all messed up. Biblically speaking, it’s all wrong. First of all, we can’t love, truly love, selfless love, unconditional love because we don’t know God. How can we love or know love if we don’t know the creator and giver of love. God is love. What we think is love is something else and it pulls us in all kinds of wrong directions. Giving oneself away physically does not mean love.

Many of us are slaves to sex sin and don’t even know it. Slaves meaning it controls us, our relationships, life. We may think it’s normal because everyone says it is. If no one else has told you, let me, it’s not normal. Actually, it may be the societal norm but it shouldn’t be our norm. It complicates thing in present relationships and future ones. Sex before marriage will never satisfy. Why? Because it isn’t the order God intended it to be and it isn’t true intimacy. One can only experience true intimacy after marriage, the way God intended it to be (Hebrews 13:4). You can’t connect with someone physically if you haven’t connected with him/her spiritually, mentally, emotionally, socially. As a Christian, if you haven’t entered into the covenant of marriage, there will always be some level of inhibition, lack of openness, comfort or trust.

If I can just keep it real, I didn’t want to post this. I wrote this weeks months and months ago. I feel it’s one of those topics that most people feel, act, validate based on their lifestyle and social norms. Girls Ladies, it doesn’t make you a stronger woman, more free and comfortable with whom you are because you have more partners. And boys men, talking about how many girls you’ve been with doesn’t make you more manly. Who is man enough, strong enough, bold enough to change that narrative? Some things (i.e. abstaining) may never be the cool thing to do, but are you cool enough to make it cool to talk about how many girls you’ve abstained from in your circle of friends?

As a Christian, any man or woman who isn’t willing to wait until marriage isn’t ready for marriage. There’s a selflessness, obedience and honor to God that should come first. For the ladies and the men, let me say, you are worth the wait and for anyone who says or acts differently #deuces.

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed (John 8:34-36)

If you are a Christ believer, you are no longer slave to sin. You are a son of the family of Christ, of light, righteousness, life. You are free. You have a right to be free. Free to overcome EVERYTHING you believe you cannot overcome. Everything you’ve given up on overcoming. Who is ruling? You can overcome whatever it is, depend on God to do it in and through you.

I know this is a topic that may make us uncomfortable. It doesn’t fit our lifestyles anymore so we tend to find ways around it. We start calling the Bible outdated, irrelevant, etc to justify or validate our sin as ok. If you’re a Christian, let’s acknowledge God’s truth in all things instead of disputing it because it’s difficult to accept or convicts us to the core.

I know some of you are reading this like, oh well I’m satisfied with where I am and what you believe or what you have might be good, but it’s not for everyone. Remember Christ. Jesus paid the price on the cross for us. For you and your intimacy, that you may know true love. He made a covenant with God just for you so you could be free.

❤ Carin

 

You Have Nothing to Prove

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“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” This. Because so many of us are in bondage to people. We dress, we work, we act, we do for others. What will so and so think, how many likes can I get, can I get promoted for this? It’s easy to let perception, influence, recognition run us.

Naturally we want to please our family, friends, baes, boos, bosses, fans, people in general, but reality is we’ll never be good enough for everyone. We can’t please or find favor with everyone. But God. The one who matters will be well pleased with us if we trust in and follow Him over man. Sounds easy, but it’s not. Actually think about it, how often do you make decisions based on what someone will think of you vs what you really want to do or feel led to do? From the little day to day things to the “bigger” life things… be honest 🙂

Let’s talk about this “proving ourselves” thing a little bit more. It’s such a part of our culture that it seems to be a natural, normal thing. Truth is we should only be concerned with what God thinks of us, “well done my good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:21) And please don’t take this out of context… I’m not saying to neglect responsibility or don’t do things that are expected of us. I’m talking about our tendency to put people before God. Something I believe comes from a desire within to prove ourselves. At some point in life, a seed was planted that we aren’t good enough or that we don’t and never will measure up. Maybe it was something someone directly or indirectly said to us, a teacher, family, friends, society, circumstance or our own selves… missed expectations? Maybe it was something we’ve just internalized over time making us feel lesser than. It could be anything that’s led us to this point of believing we have to do whatever it takes to make it, to prove ourselves.

Why is thinking this way faulty? Because f r e e d o m. When we’re living to please others over God, we lack freedom and we’re bound to man. Freedom starts with an inner contentment with who we are in Christ. It means to desire what God has for you first and foremost, the willingness and ability to allow God to be in control of your life versus being influenced or controlled by our desire to be accepted by man over God. We can’t be free AND be subject to man. Isaiah 2:22 says, “stop trusting in mere humans who have but a breath in their nostrils. Why hold them in esteem?” 

Putting God first makes everything easy. Really. The challenge is that we often times are not putting God first. The demands of the world are too much and they aren’t for us to carry. The world enslaves us, causes us to live in bondage rather than freedom. We can easily get consumed with pleasing people, robbing ourselves of the joy that life should give us. When you’re feeling super pressured to deliver, as many of us do all the time, remember, the only one that really matters is God.

As a Christian, you aren’t meant to fit in with the world, doing the things the world does in the world’s way. Your life shouldn’t look like anyone else’s life. And as long as your life does or you fit in with the world doing worldly things, you’ll be unhappy, unfulfilled even because God has so much more for you. So, if you feel like a loner, or like no one gets you or that you don’t fit in, that’s awesome. It’s time to ask God where it is that He wants to take you. There’s a reason He’s unsettled you. Cheers to walking in a freedom that only God could give. I promise you, you’ll be happier than ever 🙂

As long as we’re living for him and trusting Him and letting Him be God in our lives, God will be well pleased with us. Keep things in order, God first for real, and everything else will be alright.

With love always,

Carin

The One New Year Resolution Everyone Should Make

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We are fourteen days into the new year! People always joke that most people don’t make it through January without breaking their resolutions. I was thinking about this and thought of one resolution that would make it easier on us, and one that I believe will help us accomplish every goal we’ve set for ourselves. If you have only one resolution or commitment this year, make it to be closer to God. This means to spend intentional time with God daily in prayer and in His word and to seek him in everything. Honestly, if we’re doing this, everything else that we want to happen, will happen. It may not look how we want it to look or happen when we want it to happen, but if God is leading, we’ll be at peace. He will give us strength, discipline, self control and everything else we need to do that which is set before us. God wants to do life with us! 

If you wrote a list of resolutions for this year, did you seek God about them? If you didn’t write a list, take a minute to think about some thing(s) you want to give up or things you want to start doing differently or just something new in general. It takes forty days to form a habit. The Israelites were in the wilderness for forty years. Moses was with God forty days and forty nights on Mount Sinai. After fasting forty days and nights, Jesus was tempted in the wilderness. What’s the theme here? Do you ever notice recurring themes in your life? Understand what is required of you to see it change.

And he was there with the LORD forty days and forty nights; he did neither eat bread, nor drink water. And he wrote upon the tables the words of the covenant, the ten commandments. Exodus 34:28

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. Now when the tempter came to Him… But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’” Matthew 4:1-3

And the LORD’S anger was kindled against Israel, and he made them wander in the wilderness forty years, until all the generation, that had done evil in the sight of the LORD, was consumed. Numbers 32:13

These are amazing examples for us. There’s something about the “wilderness” (i.e. a barrenness in your life), God’s word, prayer and fasting. God’s word needs to be put into action. Maybe fasting is something else you want to try this year. Giving up something to focus your attention on prayer… maybe it’s food or drink (check out the Daniel Fast, Daniel 1:10, 10:2-3), sexual intimacy (for the unmarried folks), social media or something else you desire greatly. Make a sacrifice and commit that time to God to really seek him and see how your life will change.

The easiest way to “success” is to seek God. Put and keep God first and He will take care of everything else for you. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things (see vs 25-31) shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33.

Two weeks in, to a year of growth and blessings, happy new year y’all!

❤ Carin

God, Remember Me? 

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God doesn’t forget you. How many of y’all have been there, feeling distant, lost, hopeless? Where are/were you in my struggle, pain, hurt, heartbreak, God, remember me? I believe we often times pray this out of desperation because, the truth is, God has never forgotten you and never will. God is always present even when we don’t ask (or want Him to be lol). It’s never God forgetting us. It’s us not seeing where He is working in our lives or even allowing Him to be present and work in our lives. It’s a matter of us never letting go of Him.

This morning I asked myself what would it take for me to go to sleep every night knowing that I lived my day to the fullest, knowing that I walked every step as God wanted me to, went as He lead, spoke to those He wanted me to speak to, kept my attitude in check, went right and not left even when I didn’t want to. Honestly, I’m not really sure, but I know I can start by scripture and keeping my mind/thoughts on God. Every morning I’ll give my day to God, ask Him to take it over. This is the only way I see me walking in His will daily. If I do that, then I’m sure I’ll accomplish all that He desires of me. I won’t have to worry about a to do list, burdening myself with things I shouldn’t be focused on. There’s a reason there are only 24 hours in a day. (I’m not saying don’t have a to do list, I just mean be flexible as God leads.)

Psalm 139 and Jeremiah 1:5 both talk about how God knew us before we were even formed in the womb. If God took time to know us then, don’t you think he still knows us?  “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:7) This scripture is an example of how God cares about the littlest to the biggest things in life. If we do our part and walk in faith, I believe we’ll see how and where God is working in our lives and we’ll find ourselves saying, “God, remember me?” far less. The finished work is God’s job and God always does His part.

Instead of God, remember me? Let our prayer be God, help me not to forget you. He’ll use us in magnificent ways.

Love y’all!

Carin

God’s Promise To His Chosen Servant

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God is with you. Isaiah 49 is a chapter full of depth about God’s promises to His chosen servant. We are living in crazy times, so crazy that sometimes I wonder if these are the end times… just me? In the midst of all the craziness, all we can do is stand on God’s promises to us. It can be easy to lose hope or just feel like what you’re working towards is pointless, but when we realize what God has promised us, we’ll be able to stay focused and walk in an unspeakable joy that no one and no circumstance can take from us.

In a time of favor, I have answered you in a day of salvation I have helped you. Those who wait for me shall not be put to shame. For I will contend with him who contends with you, And I will save your children. I will feed those who oppress you with their own flesh. These are just a few of the promises from Isaiah 41 and 49 that stood out to me. Here are some of the scriptures in full, keep them as reminders for yourselves!

I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:11

Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. Isaiah 41:12

For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob, little Israel, do not fear, for I myself will help you,” declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. Isaiah 41:13-14

This is what the Lord says: “In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you; I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people, to restore the land and to reassign its desolate inheritances, 9 to say to the captives, ‘Come out,’ and to those in darkness, ‘Be free!’” Isaiah 49:8-9

Kings shall be your foster fathers, And their queens your nursing mothers; They shall bow down to you with their faces to the earth, And lick up the dust of your feet. Then you will know that I am the Lord, For they shall not be ashamed who wait for Me.” Isaiah 49:23

But thus says the Lord: “Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, And the prey of the terrible be delivered; For I will contend with him who contends with you, And I will save your children.” Isaiah 49:25

Do not fear, do not be afraid, I will keep you, I will help you. How awesome are these promises? Psalm 34:19 says, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.” For God to be known, he uses His people and works through them. The Bible never says that we won’t go through anything. It says that our afflictions will give us a reason to praise and glorify God because of the victory we receive.

Happy Monday. Keep going. Stand on God’s promises this week. His word will give you strength.

With love,

Carin

Your Heart Lies

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“Go with your gut.” We hear this often, and I can’t say I disagree with it. If I feel like something is right, I do it. If I have peace about something, I do it. Should we stop trusting our hearts though?

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9). This verse says it all, we actually don’t know our hearts. Think about how much we trust ourselves to make the right decisions, to say the right thing, to do the right thing. We sincerely try to do what’s right, but sometimes it’s just not in us. How often do we fail? We think we’re trusting God, but we’re really trusting ourselves. In Romans 7:15-16, Paul says that he doesn’t understand what he he does, for what he wills to do, he doesn’t practice, but what he hates, he does.

How do we trust ourselves if, by nature, our hearts are wicked? These next verses explain it perfectly. Just like there is bad, there is good, just like we have deceitful hearts, we can have pure hearts… God wants to give you a clean heart.

He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered (Proverbs 28:26).

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26).

It’s about transformation, walking wisely with a renewed heart of flesh. Walking wisely means understanding what the will of the Lord is, giving thanks for all things, submitting to one another in the fear of God (see Ephesians 5:15-21). I hope we can all get to a point where we know we are trusting God in us, not ourselves. Only then can we make right decisions, from the little to the big things, how to spend the day, career, relationships, etc.

God wants to lead you in the right way, is your heart open to Him?

❤ Carin

NY | HOU. My Big Move

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It’s big and it’s bittersweet. That’s the best way for me to describe my move. If I haven’t told you, I’m writing this to tell you. I wish I could text everyone individually. It’s been a long decision process. I’ve been fighting it to be honest, but moving home to Houston is just it for me right now. I’ve prayed a lot. I’ve fasted a lot. I’m at peace and actually pretty excited to get back to Houston now. I say actually because when I first seriously considered moving back, I cried. I didn’t want to move home to Houston. Not because I don’t like home, I love my fam and my home, I am beyond blessed. Just keeping it real, I was like ha, really God? After all the little stepping stones, the building, the growth, now I move?

I’ve been in New York for four years. It’s been amazing. New York is the city I know as an “adult”. I’ve met some amazing friends, life long friends here. I have an awesome church (if you need a church, go check out Times Square Church, you won’t be sorry). I’ve worked with some super duper talented people (shout out to Lewis at The Sol Studio). Four years in, I feel like I’ve started to establish myself in NY, and now I’m moving to Houston. Houston is home, but I haven’t lived at home since high school which was eight years ago. Eight. So basically, I move home to Houston and I start over. (Ok, it’s not necessarily starting over. I won’t forget everyone and everything in NY, but you get what I mean.)

That’s life though, right? It’s about the journey. The ups and downs and all arounds is what pushes us, what makes us grow. I know I’ve grown like crazy these past few years, mostly because my experiences pushed me to seek God more than ever before, to pray, to stand on His word. That’s what keeps me going! You may be thinking growth personally, career wise or whatever else, but don’t forget spiritual growth. Regardless of what’s going on, that’s where we should always be focused. If we are spiritually healthy, everything else will fall into place. Even when we don’t see it, we have to believe it. And that’s where I am, it’s tough! I haven’t decided what I’ll be doing in Houston, but I’m sure it will be cool because I’m praying and you’re praying with me 🙂 (Prayers appreciated lol)

I started listing everyone who’s impacted my time here in NY, but I had to stop. From church to work to MLT, Emory, neighbors, BBBS… life, there are so many of you. Thank you, thank you. Seriously, thank you. The prayers, support, encouragement (and discouragement lol), the keepin it real better not stop because I’m not in NYC anymore! This goes for me too 😉

Back to the move, I don’t have an official date, but I’m thinking mid-Sept which is super close, so we gotta make the most of these next twenty-one or so days. I want to see you, chill, chat, eat, hang with you before I head out!

Last thing… a couple of scriptures for y’all, good reminders, and these were some that I meditated on in my decision making!

The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it. (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established. (Proverbs 16:3)

When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land. God said, “If the people are faced with a battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.” So God led them in a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea. Thus the Israelites left Egypt like an army ready for battle. (‭Exodus‬ ‭13‬:‭17-18‬)

Lots of love,

Carin

P.S. I’m relaunching the blog soon with a fun new series, check it out later this week!

When Will You be Done Living a Simple Life?

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You are running away from peace, love, happiness and don’t even know it. You may think you are doing what brings you happiness, but, it feels like you’re in a constant state of confusion. You are digging deeper in the things you are trying to run away from: loneliness, emptiness, unforgiveness, the desire to be loved, the list goes on. The relationship or job promotion, the drugs, sex, alcohol, shopping or whatever it might be loses it’s appeal after so long and you’re back at step one, you feel empty and you are pursuing that love, the success, your purpose, only to find these things no where. That’s because they can only be found in one place, with God. If you are saved by grace and know God, the ways of the world shouldn’t be your ways (Romans 12:2, 1 John 2:15-17). If they are, you will forever be running. So, when will you be done living a simple life?

A simple life is not living by God’s word. It is simple to say yes to the flesh, to your desires. It is simple to say that the Bible is outdated and to pick and choose what you want to believe because society is “evolving”. A simple life is being like everyone else around you, doing what everyone else is doing, accepting what everyone else is telling you to accept. It is simple to live how you want to live. It is not simple to live by God’s grace. But, why, shouldn’t it be? If you believe and walk by faith, then why is it so hard to live by His word? We make it tough on our own because we do not walk in the fullness of the Lord (Ephesians 3:14-19).

It’s not that God doesn’t want you to be happy or to have fun. It’s that the more we sin, the further we go from God. The further we are from God, the further we are from being where He wants us to be, doing what He wants us to do. There is no peace in that. You will forever be empty and looking for something more because true happiness, true joy and purpose only comes when you are wholeheartedly serving Christ and letting Him lead you.

My reality isn’t your reality and your reality isn’t mine. Yes, there are biblical truths that none of us can deny, but when it comes to living, each of our journeys are unique to us and that is between God and you. You just have to keep it real.

I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth (John 17:14-17).

Are you willing to stand apart, to go through the trials, to be bold, to be different? I don’t mean different like the world defines different, but different because God is calling you to stand apart and go somewhere only you can go if you let Him lead you and take you there… Through the fiery furnace like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, through the wilderness to the promised land like Moses, through trials and prisons like Paul. Are you ready to live more than a simple life?

With love,

Rinny

Stop Living for “Me”

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Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. (Philippians 2:3-5 NLT).

Your life is for others, not yourself. Think about where you are and all the people that have helped you get to that point. Your parents, siblings, a teacher, pastor, friend, but also maybe a “random” person that you’ve met at some point who just gave you a timely word. If these people weren’t in place throughout your life, would you be where you are? God knew exactly what you would need, when and how you would need it and who He could use to help you. God wants us to know that He’s created us for more than ourselves. He wants us to live for others even though it’s not always the easiest thing to do and sometimes may require sacrifice. I know, the world says differently… do what makes you happy, we teach self expression, individuality, independence, pursuing what you want, living your truth. But, what is your truth if it’s not the truth? 

In Matthew, the disciples asked Jesus what is the greatest commandment. Jesus responded, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind… And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (Matthew 22:36-40). If we focused beyond ourselves, wouldn’t the world look a bit different? God also commands us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Not just family and friends, but everyone, even the most annoying, miserable person who gets on your last nerve :).

When you realize that your life is about more than you, you might find it easier to make it through the tough times and find joy in everything. God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. And when others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us because we understand (2 Corinthians 1:4). There’s greater purpose to your trials, to your six figures, to your pain, to your happiness.

“You don’t become happy by pursuing happiness, you become happy by living a life that means something to someone else. The happiest people are not always the richest or most powerful ones, but rather the ones that are kind to others, have peace, love, etc. Happiness is a byproduct of purpose. The more you busy yourself in your God calling, serving others, loving others, praying and being a blessing to others, you find your happiness, your blessing.”

Life is about more than “me”. Live for yourself, but live for others!

With love,

Carin

When It’s Good to be Weak

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I think we can all agree that no one wants to be weak or even to be seen or thought of as weak. Whether we are talking physically, spiritually or mentally, no one wants to be weak. We try to eat right, work out, study, read the word so that we can be strong. Check out 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 though, whenever I read this scripture, I want to be weak. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

Sometimes, we have to come to this place of utter weakness and dependency so we can learn what it means to really trust in God and let Him be God. No back up plans, no doubt, just pure faith. We are weak without God because only He can give us the strength we need. When we are broken, done trying to do stuff on our own, then we are most useful to God. He has all the space in the world to show Himself as strong and mighty, to show his power through our lives… and we will know it was Him who came through. We have no choice but to exercise faith in Him. This faith and lack of hope in ourselves and anyone or anything else is how we bring glory to His name. 

If we know we are working for and with God then why should we let anything come against us? When something is yours, nothing and no one can stop you. No failed meeting, bad grade, bad interview, lack of experience, broken relationships, no negative people should be able to make us stop believing that God is faithful. 

So take this seriously. The LORD has chosen you to build a Temple as his sanctuary. Be strong, and do the work. “Every part of this plan,” David told Solomon, “was given to me in writing from the hand of the LORD. ” Then David continued, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the LORD is finished correctly. (‭1 Chronicles‬ ‭28‬:‭10, 19-20‬ NLT)

I lovee this passage. Sometimes I think we forget how the characters in the bible are no different than us. I’m sure Solomon looked at that plan like whaaat!? That’s why David had to remind Him who he’s working for and with and where those plans came from. God has chosen us not expecting us to know it all, but wanting us to completely depend on Him and seek Him wholeheartedly to accomplish what He has called us to do. We are not meant to to do anything on our own. Isn’t that cool!? That makes me happy 🙂 

God gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:29-31) God will always be found and He will give us clear instruction as we seek Him. If we first let God give us His plans and instruction and we give God our plans, only then will we be successful. Proverbs 16:3 says to commit your actions to the Lord and your plans will succeed. 

He has already prepared us in advance for the job He has for us and He’s equipped us with everything good for doing His will (Ephesians 2:10 and Hebrews 13:21). Wherever He has called you, you are already equipped with what it takes. He’s just asking you to trust and depend on HIM to get you there, not yourself. 

Pray and ask God to bring you to a place of weakness. If there’s something you can’t let go, you know it’s just not in you to let it go, you may need to be weak so that God can show you His power. It may not be easy for you, but God can do it. I believe what He will do in your life will be so powerful that your testimony will glorify God in a big way and be a huge blessing to others.

With love, 

Rinny