Well, for some, like us Houston peeps, it already is. But either way, Covid hit and it hit hard. We lost loved ones, jobs, businesses, relationships, peace of mind. People are hurting, hopeless, feel helpless. This is ok. I believe God wants us to feel but not to stay in that feeling, not to dwell in it and allow it to begin distracting us from how He wants to use us in this time. I know, it’s tough. The world is c r a z y right now.

Remember though, this season will pass. How will you remember it? One of the biggest challenges may be finding joy where you are. And, the reality is, every stage of life brings a new challenge so if we don’t learn how to process these things now, how will we break down when life hits us? Nobody gets through life without some kind of sorrow. God still has your life in His hand and there’s still much purpose in it.

For anyone feeling down or depressed, let someone know. Talk to someone. There’s no reason to feel alone. I don’t know a ton about depression, but a common thread I’ve noticed is the focus on self. Let me say this from a place of love, I’d like to challenge you to stop looking and thinking inwardly and start thinking outwardly. It’s not about the things you lack or wish you had, the people who let you down or the people you think don’t care about you or your situation. It’s not about the family you wish you had, the job you need, etc… focus on what you do have and what you can give and what you can do and what God has done and will do for you again. Shift your perspective. Who can you help and be a blessing to during this time?

Find something bigger than yourself to believe in. Don’t place God expectations on yourself or people. Put your hope and trust completely in God. He’s got you even if you don’t have the strength or faith to believe that. And there are ppl that care about and love you. (I’m one of them!)

So, for anyone dealing with feelings or depression, anxiety, rejection, fear of what’s next… ask yourself what is the thought that is driving your feelings? Is it that you feel forgotten, unwanted, undervalued, like nobody cares about you, that people will think xyz about you if you do something, etc? While the feelings may be true, remember the thought is a lie and deception is the tool the enemy uses.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

“To take the thought captive to the obedience of Christ, the next question is important: Is this thought true?”

If you only keep looking at your circumstances, you could probably answer ‘yes’ to your question because no one was around to comfort you, answer your call, help you, thank you, etc. But human perception is limited. What’s needed is to look into God’s word because His thoughts are higher than ours and so are His ways.

When Houston started opening back up and I felt a little ting of oh, no. I started questioning if I was ready to get back to “normal” because there’s a certain pressure that came with quarantine ending. We can no longer use Covid as an excuse (because you know that’s what some of us have been doing lol) Can you relate? Personally, I started asking myself questions like, was I happy with how I spent my quarantine time, did I finish what I wanted to finish with my extra down time, did I rest enough. Since things are picking up now is so many ways, I pray that we all make the most of our time, focus on God and what he’s trying to speak to us. Intentionally spend time with God, pray for someone else, ask God to remove any distractions, remove habits that aren’t beneficial for our growth, help us to form new habits and disciplines as we go into this next season.

Let’s not forget to lift each other up in prayer and reach out to anyone God puts on our hearts. Call or text someone you haven’t spoken to in a couple of weeks. We need that. This could be such a down time of the year, but with the right perspective, we have the power to turn it into a time of joy, progress and growth. Sounds crazy I know. Some have lost loved ones they’re thinking about, wish they had a different family or home situation, struggling financially… let’s pray that we all discover the reason for the season we’re in and find peace and joy through God.

Last thing I’ll say, I know it’s not easy. Trust God. Fight. Fighting isn’t pretty, pruning isn’t pretty, but the finished product is beautiful. Endure friends, the process may not be fun but it’s so worth it. Let’s get it. I’m praying for y’all!

With love,

Carin

Guilt and shame might be two of the heaviest burdens we carry. This couple brings pain, unforgiveness, bitterness, dishonesty, and a lot more. God wants us to be completely free from both of them. He sacrificed his son’s whole life so we wouldn’t have to carry the heavy burden that comes with guilt and shame. It’s too much for us to deal with alone and we can’t truly live fruitful lives carrying these things. I thank God for his sacrifice, for knowing what we need and making a way before we even arrived here.

Remember Jesus died for our sins. He died so that we could commit the most heinous crimes and still be loved. He died so that the worst human being, the worst sinner could have life more abundantly.

Have you ever considered why shame is so destructive? Why is that we hurt ourselves and others when we try to protect something that belongs to us, our shame? We think we’re putting our reputation at risk by exposing truth, but really we’re freeing ourselves. Shame blocks growth because we can’t truly be ourselves, we lack authenticity when trying to maintain a certain character or image that isn’t really who we are. We need to understand that truth always wins. This is why honesty is so important… we have a conscience. God gave it to us, and God is a God of truth. That’s why even when no one else but “I” knows something, we still feel wrong or bad.

Shame makes us feel less than we know ourselves to be, unworthy, unworthy of love or happiness. It makes us feel less valuable, less trustworthy, it makes us love ourselves less. For example… if only I know you have a reason not to trust me, I may, at some point, begin to overcompensate to make up for that guilt through my words and actions. On the negative end, I may become hypersensitive to feelings like I’m being watched, being taken for granted, not being believed, feeling like I have to prove myself. On the “positive” side, I may become overly nice or helpful, over giving, etc… all good things but motivated by wrong feelings. When we feel these emotions, they can change our being, the very core of who we are, and we sometimes even begin to believe lies about ourselves. As a result, we start to become the person we didn’t want to be. That person does everything we never wanted to do. Everything we hate. 

The biggest challenge is the internal conflict that exists beneath the facade we create. Deep down, we who know we are, but when our actions don’t match up to that person we know ourselves to be, it starts getting confusing. Shame causes us to dislike the person we were or are becoming so we hide under a facade of who we want to be and who we know ourselves to be even though our actions haven’t always matched up. Our facade only protects our image. We think because our true feelings are hidden, our shame will never be exposed. That’s false. 

I want us to get this, how deeply affected we can be by guilt and shame or whatever we’re holding on to that makes us forget who we are. We hold parts of our true selves back when we feel unworthy. Or we try to find ways to break others down to make ourselves feel better. Shame causes us to act out of character, out of fear. For example, if he/she knew this, they’d leave. It doesn’t allow for security but rather more lies and deception to hide the source of shame. More stress, more anxiety, more tension and negative emotions. We begin to look for the negative in someone else to build ourselves up. Can you see how toxic that can be? We may even feel undeserving, or guilty even for receiving good from someone who we know we’ve wronged, whether they know it or not. We punish people unknowingly, subconsciously for the guilt and shame we feel.

Think about it this way… when we lack authenticity, it not only keeps us from being free, it also blinds us for seeing others for who they really are. It creates a rift and decreases the opportunity for growth because the one who is hiding is looking at others from a blurred lens. On the other end, the person on the receiving end may feel as if the one who is hiding is holding back, which causes him/her to question their actions. How deep have you buried some things?

The longer we hold on to something, the longer we’re locking ourselves up. I don’t mean throwing someone away. That certainly might help and may be needed but just getting rid of a person or burying an experience doesn’t rid us of the feelings, thoughts and emotions that live on. Hiding shame gives it power. Sharing shame frees… with someone who is understanding or willing to gain an understanding and is empathetic. Own and share your story because that person you know yourself to be, the good and the bad, is who you are until you process, heal and grow. 

May I suggest that if we’re dealing with guilt and shame because of what we’ve done to someone or what someone has done to us, a loved one, someone in the past, a coworker, the only way to be free is to confess our sin. You are not reading this by chance. We allow the enemy to ruin our lives and our relationships, our futures, by keeping quiet, by holding in secrets that shouldn’t belong to us. It breaks my heart even as I’m writing this now. How much stuff we’re carrying and holding on to that doesn’t belong to us. The saddest thing to think about is the hurt and pain, the guilt and shame that won’t stop here unless we make the decision to correct it. To expose it. Why? Because as long as we hold on to it, the enemy has free reign to mess with our minds. To play with our thoughts. To deceive us and tell us we’re no good, we’ll never be accepted, we won’t be forgiven, we’re underserving, unlovable, etc. I don’t care how shameful or bad you think your thing is, freedom comes through confession and forgiveness. To whom you might be wondering… of course we can start with Jesus, and if He puts it on your heart to share more with someone else, that’s when you have to decide to be obedient. 

Make a choice to be free so that you can live peaceably. Whatever or whoever it is that may come to mind, I pray you get the courage, the Holy Spirit leading, boldness to speak up and stand as a humble man/woman of God, of integrity, of righteousness. It doesn’t take much to be quiet, it takes a whole lot to expose oneself. When you’re standing with God though, when you’re naked and exposed, you can also be unashamed. Perfect love hath no fear. Fear has to do with punishment (1 John 4:18). God isn’t here to judge you. That person, if he or she judges you, let them. But you, do what you know God is telling you to do because we are responsible for our actions.

I know this can be hard to deal with, I pray God guides you to the right person to think about, a friend, a counselor, a parent, a significant other. Whoever it may be, may God give them grace and wisdom to work through this with you.

With lots of love, 

Carin

Let’s be real… relationship talk can get old, annoying, here we go again type of sentiment. I determined not to talk about relationships after February because, honestly, after Rooted in Love (Philly Connect’s bomb co-ed annual relationship conference), I’m usually pooped. Silly me lol I have to acknowledge that relationships are work and require constant renewal of the mind just like every other area of our lives. We’re constantly being influenced by toxic ideas, good ideas from others that might not be good ideas for us, and circumstances… like covid. Since people have time during this quarantine btw, I can’t help but think how situationships may be at an all time high. Unfortunately so because we should be focused on other things! 

Let me first say this… we tend to think that obedience to God means that He doesn’t want us to enjoy life and have fun. The reality is that God does want us to live a fun, pleasurable, joyful life. He created everything for us to enjoy. Here’s what we need to get, God doesn’t want us to do certain things our way because he knows what it (sin) does to us. It has nothing to do with fun and everything to do with God’s protection and the enemy having limited access to us. When we step outside of God’s covering, the enemy has more opportunity to get us to believe his lies of who we aren’t. Yes, who we aren’t. As long as the enemy can get us to believe we are the things we’ve done, people we’ve been with, places we’ve gone, he’s got a way in to our thoughts, our minds, our lives. It’s easy to get caught up in rules, don’t do this, don’t do that. There are certain things we hear all the time that we just know are wrong but we don’t understand why, nor have we taken he time to seek understanding. So these “rules” which are really God’s covering for us merely become legalistic or religious practices that don’t hold much weight in our day to day lives. Relationships are about growth and understanding and having a relationship with God first. An intimate relationship with our creator translates into our earthly relationships, and we should see that reflected in our lives. When our relationship with God stops growing, our relationships on earth stop growing in the right way also. 

Sometimes, God allows us to experience things so we can see how depraved we are without Him. Can we agree that who we are and how we act without God is not pretty? We do things we aren’t proud of, say things we wish we could take back, go places we wish we hadn’t gone. Since the enemy will use what we’ve done to tear us down, he does what he can to remind us of the past. He brings up old memories, people, things, no matter how long ago we left them… and he does it at our most vulnerable times. When we’re lonely, going through something, when we’ve isolated ourselves, we are more tempted to look back. When we’re constantly reminded of or dwell on the past, it’s more difficult to remember that’s who we are without Christ. What has happened is past and should remain there. You are no longer that person. You will never again be the person you were yesterday or today even. This is a huge reason why we need to forgive ourselves. Once we forgive ourselves, we’re able to truly move forward by accepting what happened, acknowledging that’s not who we are or what defines us and trusting that God’s grace will make it beautiful and work everything for our good. 

God doesn’t want us to live in the past. We destroy ourselves by not forgiving ourselves or others. Forgiveness is a release. And, I pray that today, some of us will find freedom by simply asking God to help us forgive. You have a choice to be free and to be healed. Think about it, who or what have you let steal your peace, your joy, your ability to grow, to be your true self that God created you to be? 

What should we do when we’re left with the pain of the past, the hurt, the shame, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy, the insecurities, the feelings of worthlessness, of being used, played, taken advantage of. Leave the past in the past. Close the door of hurt, lock it, throw that key away, and send with it anything reminiscent of that pain that triggers memories. Easier said than done right? It seems the easier and more common thing to do is to run from the pain or unknowingly channel it in ways that continue to hurt us more than we know. We subconsciously start acting out of fear in relationships, fear of going through the same thing again, the rejection, betrayal, deception or manipulation. We begin treating people how we don’t want to be treated so we never again feel what that last person made us feel. We become the person we never wanted to be in an effort to protect ourselves. In a sense, we become god in the situation. We take matters into our own hands instead of letting God do the healing work in us. Tough. Because we can never be God. Rather than allowing ourselves time to heal properly, to grieve properly, we hold on to or bury the hurt and pain that reminds us how damaged we are. Instead of  going through the process of surrendering and crying out to God, we continue moving without taking time to heal. Instead of spending time alone getting to know ourselves better, dealing with our emotions so we can communicate better or taking time to understand what happened and surround ourselves with the right community, we continue building on a weak foundation leading to more unhealthy relationships. 

Acknowledge the pain, accept it, talk through it, work through it so it doesn’t take deeper roots and bear bad fruit in your future. Everything in life is connected and that one thing we might be holding on to is affecting everything else. When we don’t work through something, there’s a chance that thing may create unhealthy cycles in our lives.

Live in truth. The only way to have a real relationship is if it’s centered in truth, truth and intimacy go hand in hand. This is why our relationship with God matters so much. How can we know truth if we don’t know Him? How can we know intimacy if we don’t know God? Sometimes the truth hurts and the truth can be ugly. When God reveals the ugly parts of us, it’s not so fun. But oh so necessary. As Ephesians 4:14-16 tells us, we can’t grow to maturity by ourselves. To let go of childish tendencies and to walk in manhood or womanhood is a choice. To forgive is a choice, to let go is a choice, to stop looking at others and look at yourself (no matter how “good” you feel you are, you played a role), to stop blaming others or blaming God is a choice. In everything, God wants to perfect us. 

One small step we can make today is to ask God for direction. He is the author and finisher of our faith. He wants us to come through life mature, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4). Find a reason to be thankful that you experienced what you did and tell God thank you. That’s a start. It’s easy to thank God for what He gives us, can we also thank God for what we lose? Remember this, sometimes you don’t get what you want because you deserve better. Do we trust Him enough to believe He’s got our lives in His hands. A heart of gratitude helps us see differently. Thankfulness is a sacrifice but it helps us accept God’s will, it establishes trust in Him and pushes us towards contentment. Being thankful enables us to walk in victory and gets our focus off of ourselves and back onto God. 

Here’s a short prayer for anyone dealing with pain of the past. Dear God, thank you for keeping me, for bringing me through even though I may not see how yet. Thank you for the experiences I’ve had. Thank you for growth and that I’m not the same today as I was yesterday. Thank you that your promises are the same yesterday, today and forever. I need your help. Soften my heart, God. Help me to deal with the things in my past that are holding me back. Bring every thought, every memory into captivity and reveal every lie of the enemy that I may no longer fall to his voice. Everything you have not planted, pull up from its roots. Reveal to me my own self so I can heal. Break the cycle of painful relationships in my life. Bring people into my life that will help me along this journey and remove anyone who doesn’t need to be close to me for where you’re taking me. Renew in me a steadfast spirit and create in me a clean heart. Restore my peace and let the joy of my salvation be my strength. Forgive me for my sins and help me to forgive myself and those I need to forgive. Deliver me from the temptation of going back to old ways, people or things that I need to distance myself from. You are sovereign and faithful to the end. Thank you for loving me without fault. In Jesus name, amen. 

With love, 

Carin

P.S. For those who are reading this from my IG, thanks for reading. The guy in the pic was absolutely not a situation or situationship in any way, shape or form. He has not caused me any pain, hurt, etc. He’s a really great guy, awesome friend of mine and I can only say good things about him so no fault to him… we thought it was a good draw, no drama 🙂 Thanks for reading ❤

It is and always has been complete.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 

– 1 Corinthians 13:4-11

As I was reading this passage the other day, it hit me differently. I started thinking of the times I’ve said, “I love you,” and meant it sincerely. Did my definition of love measure up to the definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8? How often and quick are we to throw that phrase, “I love you” around? I also asked God why verses nine and ten go from talking about completeness to saying that “love never fails, prophesying and tongues will be stilled and knowledge passes away”. I didn’t understand the correlation so I spent some time in prayer, and in my quiet time, here’s what I got… stay with me 🙂

Love is always complete. Love can not be on and off. Love was complete when Jesus died for us so it can never be “in part”. This also means that we can’t love in part… it can not be, “I loved once before but not anymore.” Why? Because Jesus is the definition of love and He has given us that same complete love.

The only way we “fall out” of love or the reason we feel we don’t love someone anymore is because we never knew or understood love to begin with. Do we know how to love? Sometimes we fight to receive or feel love from the ones we love most because we desire to receive what we feel and what we give. In those moments, I’d challenge us to think about how we are exhibiting love. Is it 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 or have we determined what love is on our own?

God’s love for us is the example of love we should all be following. He has never and will never lose hope in us.

God knows us completely so he loves us completely. Perfect love hath no fear. He wasn’t afraid of betrayal, of enduring pain, of sacrifice even in knowing the imperfect-ness of His own creation. We hurt God, we betray Him, we lie on Him, we turn away from Him… and He is still calling after us, there for us, loving us the same as He did from day one. This is what I mean when I say love is always complete. Because when you know someone, and I mean all of someone, it may get a little tougher to love them. But that’s exactly what God is showing us about love. Love becomes a function of knowing someone. Because you know someone, you love them. The more we know about someone, the more lovable and unlovable things we get to know. We grow into love and we choose to love. And thank God we can’t grow out of love. What those “lost feelings” of love could mean is that something in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 has gone missing… or was it really love to begin with?

Until we come to an understanding of God’s love, we will only be able to love in part. As 1 Corinthians 13:10-11 puts it, “but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” When we come to intimately know God, to have a personal relationship with God, we come into the completeness of love. And when we mature from childhood to adulthood, love looks a lot different.

We can only love to the extent of our understanding, and I pray God guards our hearts and expands our understanding deeply.

With lots of love,

Carin

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” The accuracy of this statement.. and I’m so thankful I’m learning this now rather than later! And I’m thankful I’ve learned what it means for some people to be in your life for a season and why we should all find peace when things change. Seasons serve their purpose.

What is a friend? Let’s start here… as Proverbs 18:24 puts it, a friend is someone who sticks closer than a brother. We use that term lightly because, let’s be real, how many of the people we call “friends” will stick closer than a brother when it comes down to the real real. Also, colloquially its odd to refer to someone as acquaintance, associate or companion lol. Anyway, let’s break this down a little more because I think many of us have gotten hurt or disappointed by people we set really high expectations for because we consider them a friend. A friend is someone who cares about you, who values you, who wants the best for you, who speaks well of you (Proverbs 11:13), someone who will keep it real with you even when it may shake up your relationship, someone who isn’t selfishly, secretly trying to get you in the same miserable position he/she might be in. (Because misery really does love company.)

Sometimes, the most miserable people have learned to disguise themselves as happy, healthy and living a carefree life that seems desirable. The keyword is seems. You see, that’s the problem. Carefree. If someone can live a completely carefree life, it means he/she can be so disconnected that they don’t have anyone to care about.

While you might be reading this and thinking that’s ideal because you have parents that annoy you, siblings or family that have betrayed you, a spouse that you’re tired of, friends that get on your nerves… remember that you are not meant to live life alone. Meaning it’s in your DNA to need community, and without people, your loved ones, your blood, your kinfolk, your friends, you would be miserable.

A real friend is someone who won’t turn his/her back on you or gossip with others about you when you make a mistake or disappoint them. And, when a real friend sees something in your life that he/she wants, they would applaud you, encourage you, hold you accountable to support you on your journey, pray with you and use your win as a testimony to stand on for his/her own. A counterfeit may only share negative things, rarely to never speak about the good in your life, encourage you to do things that don’t line up with the Word of God. A real friend drives you, motivates you, encourages you to be a better person.

Those we let in our personal space dictate our future. Sounds extreme? Think about how our friends impact the decisions we make, where we go, what we do, listen to, watch. Friends influence our outlook on marriage, relationships, career, finances, etc. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone, from what spirit and wisdom are they speaking? Watch who you allow to speak in and over your life.

“The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Proverbs 12:26

I could go on about friends but the last thing I’ll say is that a real friend genuinely likes you for you. It’s not about what you do, how much you make, what you have or who you know.

For those who have been hurt by friends, betrayed, rejected, I pray that you continue seeking God to restore you, to give you a heart of forgiveness and to help you trust again. Friendship is from God. He will give you the spirit of discernment to help you choose your friends. Keep loving, keep praying, keep going. Don’t let anyone or any situation change you. Maintain your peace and your character and don’t change for man, but for God as He reveals you need to change.

Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

And if you’re reading this and you feel lonely, you feel like you have no friends or you’re tired of trying to fit in, tired of feeling used or like you just want to be accepted for you… remember that you are fearfully, uniquely and wonderfully made, flaws and all. God has and always will accept you for you. Find your peace and identity in Him first and it’ll make making friends a lot easier for you 🙂

With lots of love,

Carin

I forgive you. Three simple yet powerful words. So powerful that when left unspoken or not dealt with, they lead to some of the deepest, most excruciating pain in life. Maybe you can relate to what I’m saying. You’ve experienced that pain and you’ve buried it deep so you can go on about life and live.

Truth is, without forgiveness, you’re not really living. The beautiful man/woman who you really are is slowly dying and day by day you’ve learned to just maintain and call it living.

I’m writing this because forgiveness is such a crucial part of life. We recently completed a series on forgiveness with my bible study group and I don’t think I’ve ever correlated the effects of unforgiveness to life as much as I do now.

At the root of unforgiveness is someone’s sin. And when sin happens, we need forgiveness so that sin doesn’t turn into deeper sin. A deeper sin that doesn’t just affect you or the one who has hurt you, but it spreads throughout your life. Hebrews 12:15 says, “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” It’s unforgiveness that turns into bitterness, hate, anger, lack of healthy trust, insecurities, depression and so much more. God is a gracious God and he loves us. That’s why He gave the ultimate sacrifice and died for our sins so we wouldn’t have to carry the burden of our own sins or anyone else’s.

Some of us are trying to fit in where we don’t belong because we’ve allowed the enemy to deceive and confuse us. We’re looking for a sense of belonging and understanding of “who” we are. Holding on to things people said or did, we’ve allowed the lies to become truth. I’m not good enough, no one will ever love me, I’m not wanted, I keep making the same mistakes, I’m not valued. This confusion of “self” has to go. If satan can deceive you into believing these things, how then could you also believe wat God says about you? That you are a royal priesthood, chosen, called out of darkness to walk in His wonderful light (1 Peter 2:9). There are years of unforgiveness that you don’t even realize have led to depression, anxiety, fear, identity crises, broken relationships, anger and so much more.

Forgiveness is an act of faith. It’s saying God, despite the evil I’ve done or the evil that’s been done to me, I trust your word, that I have a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11), and so much more of what you said about me to be true. I trust that vengeance is in your hands, not mine.

As you lay things down before God, also expect Him to do the miraculous, a complete turn around. Forgiveness is supernatural. It’s something only the Holy Spirit can work in you. Why would we, in our human flesh, decide to forgive someone who has abandoned, rejected, raped or molested, killed, bullied or betrayed us? Or why is it so hard for us to forgive ourselves for things we’ve done? Only God can bring about forgiveness in is, we first just have to make the choice to forgive.

God hurts when you hurt. The years of pain, shame, guilt that you’ve carried, God wants you to be free. He wants you to know who you are in Him. He wants to tear down every lie the enemy has told you so the enemy will no longer have power over you. He understands where you are and knows you and will transform you. He is patient with us (Matthew 18:26).

God will use your response as a step of faith. If you trust Romans 8:28, that everything is working together for your good, if you believe this word to be true, then you can walk in peace knowing that God is turning your story into one of hope, peace, joy, comfort for others. You can’t hold on to it if you want it to be a testimony. Your story will be a story of renewal. Your forgiveness will be someone’s saving grace.

Ask yourself these two questions and seriously take some time to answer them: 1. How do you heal from ___? 2. If (insert name here) never did what I wanted him/her to do (i.e. apologize, ask for forgiveness, acknowledge his/her mistake, etc.), how could I still heal? Realize that healing begins once you make the choice to forgive.

If you’re reading this, and someone you need to forgive is on your mind, but you don’t know where to start, start by praying. It may be hard but begin to pray for the person who hurt you. Write their name(s) down, everything they’ve done and begin to tell God how you feel and what you need Him to do to help you heal. If you’re trying to forgive yourself, you can do the same thing and pray that God helps you.

God forgave you many years ago and He wants you to know that, accept it and forgive yourself and others over and over and over again (Matthew 18:21-22). He blots out your transgressions and remembers your sins no more (Isaiah 43:25-26) and He wants you to walk in that peace today. He loves you soo much! I pray you receive this blog from a place of love and a *hug* if you need one.

❤ Carin

The wilderness. It’s a dry place. It’s unfamiliar, uncomfortable, maybe a little scary and sometimes a frustrating place where we’re thirsting for more and even the old that you were running from may look better than the now. This wilderness though, it’s also a place of growth and revelation and it’s preparing you to receive your greater purpose in life. I think this is what Lot missed.

“Oh no, my lord!” Lot begged. “You have been so gracious to me and saved my life, and you have shown such great kindness. But I cannot go to the mountains. Disaster would catch up to me there, and I would soon die.  See, there is a small village nearby. Please let me go there instead; don’t you see how small it is? Then my life will be saved.” Genesis 19:18-20

This story still gets me. (Read Genesis 19:1-22 for reference.) Lot asked God to let him go to a place called “Zoar” meaning little. There was so much more for him than what he could see in the immediate, with the physical eye, but he didn’t want to go through the wilderness to get to the mountaintop, the “much”.

You see, the wilderness is a ‘place’ that prepares us for our divine purpose. It’s sent to prepare us for our divine purpose. Let me rewind right quick… Lot asked GOD to send him to a “small village”, a place of little, when God had literally laid out the more, the so much more, before him. The only thing Lot had to do was make it through the wilderness to reach the mountain top. God told Him he would make it there, but even that wasn’t enough. Lot wouldn’t even try. He turned away from the mountain top before even taking a step towards it.

Lot didn’t want to be stretched, pushed, challenged. Gosh… How many of us are like Lot? God has warned us, multiple times, He’s made it clear what He wants us to do. He’s sent His angels to save us, to guide us (Genesis 19:12-17). Yet, we’re stuck.

Like Lot, we’re trying to muster family and friends’ approval and support. Like Lot, we’re holding on to what we know even though we’ve outgrown the place we’re in. Maybe like Lot, we don’t want to let go of the present. We feel the familiarity of our present state is comfortable even in its dysfunction and darkness. We fear the unknown of the future, we doubt, we let personal insecurities hold us back. Like Lot, we question where we’re going, even when we know we’re being God led. Lot spoke of potential death and evil when he was living in the midst of it (vs 19). Had he already forgotten God’s power and favor upon him? Maybe like Lot, we need God, in all of His mercy, to force us out of the place we’re in because it is now a place of destruction and infertile ground rather than one of promise and growth. 

And like God did for Lot, God will do for us. He didn’t bring us this far to leave us. God says he will bring us to a perfect end. He will perfect that which concerns us. He won’t send us out to the mountains and not equip us to win. Think about what mountains represent in the Bible. Mount Zion, Mount of Olives where Jesus ascended into Heaven, Mount Sinai where God gave Moses The Ten Commandments, Mount of Transfiguration. Mountains are symbolic of God revealing His glory. So go to that mountain top where God is sending you with haste. God can’t move unless you are willing to accept his direction and go (vs 22)… God can’t reveal His glory until you get there!

Remember this is a journey and it’s a faith walk. Put your faith in God, not people. Those who are meant to be on your journey will be on the journey. Don’t give up no matter how tired, weak, over it you might feel. Keep trusting God. That’s what faith is, believing God’s promise before you see it in the physical. This wilderness period is building your faith like nothing else can. It’s building your trust in and dependence on God. The wilderness is a place of revelation, and as you continue to seek God, this period will become a place of miracles and testimonies. When you learn to find joy in it and truly walk by faith, you will see how God is strengthening you and bringing you to a point of supernatural glory.

When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land. God said, “If the people are faced with a battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.” So God led them in a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea. Thus the Israelites left Egypt like an army ready for battle. (‭Exodus‬ ‭13‬:‭17-18‬ NLT)

If we’re not prepared for where God is taking us, when we get there, we will turn away the minute things don’t look how we want them to look. God won’t put us into battle until we’re ready. He can’t take you to your destiny without preparing you. If you’re questioning God and His truth because of your circumstances, take a minute to remember God’s promises to you, either scripture or something He’s spoken to you directly. Let this word be what you stand on. I pray you come to a place of thankfulness in your wilderness, that you find joy and peace as you experience God in a way like never before. If you feel like you’re in a wilderness, don’t give up. Keep the faith. You are going places, it’s just your prep time!

With love,

Carin

What we don’t realize is that no one in church has time for petty. The word says we will have troubles in the world, not in church with His people. Church should always be an atmosphere of warmth, love and loving kindness, one that encourages and welcomes growth. We forget that people are going through in the world, they come to church to serve God and then have to go through more craziness, jealousy, egos, pride…

Members who want to lead, ministry leaders and leadership with egos, everyone needs to have a voice, to be seen, to make a name for themselves (not Jesus). Doesn’t this sound just like the world? Are we encouraging or discouraging each other? And I’m not just talking verbally, but with our actions too. If you’re reading this and it’s speaking to you and you’re at the point of breaking or quitting, don’t. God has you where you are for a reason. They may not even know what they’re doing and God could be using you to help them grow. Here’s something else to consider… Those who treat you badly lack confidence, are threatened by you, have an inferiority complex. Can we call it what it is because why else do people act funny unless because of personal insecurities or struggles that need to be dealt with? I heard this phrase somewhere, I don’t remember where exactly, maybe in church lol, “Confidence overcomes inferiority complex”. So pray for them and don’t forget they’re human too. (We sometimes, unknowingly, elevate ministry family to a higher place than they should be. We expect different from them which we should, but when expectations aren’t met, it hurts a little more.) Pray that your confidence in the Lord will be your strength and theirs too. Pray for everyone in church because the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy and he’s starting with us (John 10:10). 

And if you’re reading this and you know you ain’t right (yes, ain’t), just remember God. And why block your blessing? Pray for compassion and love and the grace to put others above yourself, and remember you don’t know what’s going on in someone’s life. Even in church, smiles mask hurt and pain, nice clothes and cars don’t mean someone is financially stable and who knows what’s going on in someone’s career life, family life, relationships (unless you ask)… someone looking like they have it all together doesn’t mean they do. So, before letting unspoken and maybe unrealized personal insecurities lead you, let God tell you how to deal with every member that He has placed under your leadership or just by your side. They need you to build them up, not break them down. How will those around you remember you?

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:1-3

Why this even matters is because it takes away from the power and effect your ministry will have. Ministry becomes powerless when your heart isn’t in the right place. Your immediate ministry family will see it and so will the congregation. And even if we think people won’t see it, God will. We can hide before man, but not before God and He’s who really matters. As Philippians 2 says, God wants us to serve Him on one accord (read that whole chapter by the way, so relevant to this) because when we’re not, it’s difficult for Him to move through the discord, the strife, the hurt, the heavy hearts, the hurt people that need to be healed. If church looks like the world and has the same problems as the world, what hope will the non-believers have?

I hope that you take this personally because this has been too many people’s experience. I pray that you will let your light shine before others (Matthew 5:16) and that you will be the change someone needs.  ^“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8

❤ Carin

(For the record I wrote this a while ago. I feel like I need to write this with a disclaimer because people talk and make assumptions and conclusions that aren’t true lol. If you are reading this and doing that, then, that’s on you lol and maybe you needed this.) I love y’all for reals! Say you love me too 😀 haha *muah*

If the title made you think about girl/guy relationships, sorry? lol (That actually wasn’t my intention when writing it, but I know how we can be so so I had to call it out.) This is about relationships, just a different one. The most important one actually, yours and God’s. I was reading 1 and 2 Samuel some time ago and it really made me stop and think how simple these passages make receiving direction from God seem vs how I pray and seek God and feel like it takes forever for me to get the answers I’m looking for sometimes *face palm*. After reading and thinking on these scriptures, I realized I do get answers, I just don’t acknowledge them always.

1 Samuel 23:2 Therefore David inquired of the LORD, saying, Shall I go and smite these Philistines? And the LORD said unto David, Go, and smite the Philistines, and save Keilah.

1 Samuel 30:8 And David inquired at the LORD, saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? shall I overtake them? And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail recover all.

2 Samuel 5:23 And when David inquired of the LORD, he said, Thou shalt not go up; but fetch a compass behind them, and come upon them over against the mulberry trees.

If we said, “<Insert your name> inquired of the Lord, saying, Shall I pursue this relationship, job, health treatment, etc.? And the Lord answered and said unto <your name>…” would you confidently be able to say, “Yes, God answered me as clearly as He did David and I did.”?

Let’s start here. When God answered David, He gave David clear answers. And when God answered, David acted. David acted. He was obedient, “And he did as the Lord said.” How many ways can I say that? lol David did exactly what God said to do when He said to do it. Think about Isaiah 65:24 and Mark 11:24, God promises us that when we inquire of Him, He answers. So, I want us to consider this, if we aren’t hearing an answer, it’s on us. 

It’s on us because God is only as close to us as we allow Him to be. We read stories like David’s, Solomon’s, Esther’s and think they are so farfetched and are just examples for us to read. I know I do sometimes and I did as I was reading these chapters until it hit me. The way God spoke to David could be my own reality every day. David, Solomon, Esther could be you, but are you working on your relationship with Him? Like spending one on one time with Him, seeking Him, fasting, loving Him, praying, listening and acting. in. obedience. Yes, obedience. Or if you feel like you can’t hear God clearly, do you use it as an excuse to continue doing what you’re doing allowing you to hold you back from moving, going, doing, excelling and prospering how God wants you to.

And when you do hear God, how often do you act as soon as He answers? I believe we sometimes wait for a different answer, a confirmation or just fear, laziness, doubt keeps us from moving forward. It may not be intentional, but we do. Because the answer doesn’t look like we want it to, meaning, God’s answer isn’t always favorable in terms of what we want to hear so we keep asking God to answer the same prayer he’s already answered. Or maybe we feel it’s not enough of an answer. We want to know everything instead of just “doing” with the answer we’re given. We continue seeking an answer that we feel details the final, full picture that we probably aren’t even ready for. David didn’t win the battles because he heard God. He won because he heard God AND he moved on God’s answer. He prepared his armies and put the God-given strategy into action. He was faithful in the “little” and when he got to the big, he was still “faithful”. How many of us won’t do the “little” God has already told us to do and are still praying for God to “show me the way”? We won’t see what we want to see until we do what He wants us to do.

Ask. Hear. Do. God is speaking to you. He always is. Position yourself to hear Him so you can be victorious just like David was. I believe you know exactly what it is that God wants you to do, and if you don’t, take 15 minutes today to tune e v e r y t h i n g out around you and sincerely ask God to show you the way. Determine in your heart that no matter what God’s answer is, you will move in obedience and in faith. When God answers and makes it clear for you, it’s time for you to get going. Really, it’s go time! Cheers to winning the small battles and the big ones and moving on to bigger and better and higher levels in life.

Love y’all bunches,

Carin