I forgive you. Three simple yet powerful words. So powerful that when left unspoken or not dealt with, they lead to some of the deepest, most excruciating pain in life. Maybe you can relate to what I’m saying. You’ve experienced that pain and you’ve buried it deep so you can go on about life and live.

Truth is, without forgiveness, you’re not really living. The beautiful man/woman who you really are is slowly dying and day by day you’ve learned to just maintain and call it living.

I’m writing this because forgiveness is such a crucial part of life. We recently completed a series on forgiveness with my bible study group and I don’t think I’ve ever correlated the effects of unforgiveness to life as much as I do now.

At the root of unforgiveness is someone’s sin. And when sin happens, we need forgiveness so that sin doesn’t turn into deeper sin. A deeper sin that doesn’t just affect you or the one who has hurt you, but it spreads throughout your life. Hebrews 12:15 says, “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” It’s unforgiveness that turns into bitterness, hate, anger, lack of healthy trust, insecurities, depression and so much more. God is a gracious God and he loves us. That’s why He gave the ultimate sacrifice and died for our sins so we wouldn’t have to carry the burden of our own sins or anyone else’s.

Some of us are trying to fit in where we don’t belong because we’ve allowed the enemy to deceive and confuse us. We’re looking for a sense of belonging and understanding of “who” we are. Holding on to things people said or did, we’ve allowed the lies to become truth. I’m not good enough, no one will ever love me, I’m not wanted, I keep making the same mistakes, I’m not valued. This confusion of “self” has to go. If satan can deceive you into believing these things, how then could you also believe wat God says about you? That you are a royal priesthood, chosen, called out of darkness to walk in His wonderful light (1 Peter 2:9). There are years of unforgiveness that you don’t even realize have led to depression, anxiety, fear, identity crises, broken relationships, anger and so much more.

Forgiveness is an act of faith. It’s saying God, despite the evil I’ve done or the evil that’s been done to me, I trust your word, that I have a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11), and so much more of what you said about me to be true. I trust that vengeance is in your hands, not mine.

As you lay things down before God, also expect Him to do the miraculous, a complete turn around. Forgiveness is supernatural. It’s something only the Holy Spirit can work in you. Why would we, in our human flesh, decide to forgive someone who has abandoned, rejected, raped or molested, killed, bullied or betrayed us? Or why is it so hard for us to forgive ourselves for things we’ve done? Only God can bring about forgiveness in is, we first just have to make the choice to forgive.

God hurts when you hurt. The years of pain, shame, guilt that you’ve carried, God wants you to be free. He wants you to know who you are in Him. He wants to tear down every lie the enemy has told you so the enemy will no longer have power over you. He understands where you are and knows you and will transform you. He is patient with us (Matthew 18:26).

God will use your response as a step of faith. If you trust Romans 8:28, that everything is working together for your good, if you believe this word to be true, then you can walk in peace knowing that God is turning your story into one of hope, peace, joy, comfort for others. You can’t hold on to it if you want it to be a testimony. Your story will be a story of renewal. Your forgiveness will be someone’s saving grace.

Ask yourself these two questions and seriously take some time to answer them: 1. How do you heal from ___? 2. If (insert name here) never did what I wanted him/her to do (i.e. apologize, ask for forgiveness, acknowledge his/her mistake, etc.), how could I still heal? Realize that healing begins once you make the choice to forgive.

If you’re reading this, and someone you need to forgive is on your mind, but you don’t know where to start, start by praying. It may be hard but begin to pray for the person who hurt you. Write their name(s) down, everything they’ve done and begin to tell God how you feel and what you need Him to do to help you heal. If you’re trying to forgive yourself, you can do the same thing and pray that God helps you.

God forgave you many years ago and He wants you to know that, accept it and forgive yourself and others over and over and over again (Matthew 18:21-22). He blots out your transgressions and remembers your sins no more (Isaiah 43:25-26) and He wants you to walk in that peace today. He loves you soo much! I pray you receive this blog from a place of love and a *hug* if you need one.

❤ Carin